Life Death and the Universe

You talk a lot about space, but how can we maintain our space when most of us live in cities?

Space is an attitude of mind as well as a physical reality. Once we're awake to the nuances of space, then all sorts of things are possible. The problem is that most of us regard our space as mundane, and so that becomes our experience. When we learn to nurture our living space, then our experience of life is transformed. We see the extraordinary even in those things we had assumed were ordinary, and this then feeds us body and soul.

But we're all so busy.

Yes, but we can all carve out space for ourselves by ensuring we have quiet moments during the day. When we give ourselves time to breathe we alter the dynamics of our day, our week, and ultimately our life.

Silence is something you also recommend

Often it's not until we get away and immerse ourself in the depths of the silence in these out-of-the-way places, that we have a sense of what silence can bring to our lives. Mostly we live under a blanket of sound and become so accustomed to it that we can't live without it. Then we wonder why we feel so pressured and why there appears to be no space between our thoughts. Interestingly when we have silence, then we discover the nuance of sound.

For indigenous peoples who have remained close to nature, their experience of sound is quite different. Often they can hear all the sounds around them individually and collectively at the same time. They can hear a frog at the edge of a nearby lake at the same time they can hear the slow pad of a wolf and the persistent hum of insects, and so on. They can not only hear, but separate out these sounds and understand what is going on with each sound, even if they are coming from different directions.

You say that at some level most of us are hungry.

Many of us have become swallowed up in the process of living. Some of us are hungry for food and shelter, while others are hungry for love and recognition. Hunger breeds desperation. Those who are hungry for food steal to sustain themselves. Those who are hungry for recognition and meaning often become acquisitive and self-obsessed. Material needs do have a place in our lives, but they do not satisfy the longing that knaws at us in the moments of silence. If we're not careful we can end up expending our precious life's energy on trivial pursuits.

How can we move beyond our compulsions?

This is only possible when we are able to progress beyond our limited view of ourselves. It is easy to get so lost in images of how we should or should not be, that we lose all sense of our own identity, and when we become something we are not our vision fades. We stop experiencing the many textures of life that are available to us, and become lost in a monochromatic way of living. It's no coincidence that many of us have worn black for so long. So much of the colour has been taken out of our lives literally and symbolically. It's only when we are open to the possibility that life can be different, that our lives will be different.

You hold a similar view towards love.

Often we become so distracted by popular representations of love that we miss the point. It's easy to assume our lives are unglamorous because no-one buys us flowers or expensive gifts, yet the more we fixate on such details, the more we fail to appreciate what is already beautiful and deeply nurturing in our lives. We fail to treasure the partner or friend who does love us, and who will take the time to paint our apartment or care for us when we are sick.

It isn't the getting of romantic love we should be concerned about so much as the lack of genuine love in our lives. Romance can be wonderful, as can sex, but they're not the ultimate forms of love, nor are they the most intimate, and if there's two qualities we need in life right now they're depth and intimacy, and the more profound aspects of love give us these things.

You put great store by beauty in life

Genuine beauty not only uplifts, it heals also. We have all experienced the restorative powers in nature, or in an exquisite friendship or experience. It's easy to become ground down by daily life. When, however, we can gather up all the beauty life has brought us and hold it close, then we are so much more able to weather the tough times. When we don't have these reserves then it can be incredibly hard to come through the dark chapters of our lives in tact.

You talk about life's magic, but what do you mean by this?

Most of us yearn for more magic in our lives, but allow it little space to enter. True magic is about being able to appreciate the rich textures of life, so we are able to live more fully, more creatively, rather than just skimming along on the surface. There's mystical aspect to life's magic as well. We all have wonderful moments we can't quite explain. We gain the most from these experiences when we allow the richness of the experience to unfold. Life's deep magic comes to us fleet-footed, carefully concealed within everyday people and places. It is visible to those who have learned to see beyond the obvious.

How would you define greatness?

Those who are truly great have a real sense of vision. They are compassionate and courageous, and willing to step outside the limits that society attempts to place on them. They are never arrogant or self-seeking, and as they move forward they seek to take others with them - not just the strong and the brave, but those in need of support. True greatness lies in those who not only understand what they are here for, but have the courage to embrace their unique quest, and encourage others to do likewise.

What lies at the root of our inability to deal with death?

Most of us no longer have the experience of death, let alone the rituals, and what we don't know we fear. I was lucky to spend my early years in the North of England where death was very much part of daily life. Elderly family members would frequently talk of encounters they had had with loved ones who had passed over. I also used to go with my grandmother and great aunt to the local cemetery, where they would tell me about the lives of those whose graves we tended. Even though most family members had died long before I was born, it gave me a strong sense of context. Death is not to be feared. It helps anchor us in the human experience, bringing our lives texture and meaning.